It's been a challenging week. Lots of eating out, lots of craving things that will not be healthy for me, lots of feeling cranky. I keep thinking "What if it's always this hard? What if I have to fight this fight every day in order to get and stay thinner and healthier?" It's an overwhelming feeling, and it makes me understand why in Alcoholics Anonymous they encourage people to think in terms of "just for today." So that's what I've been trying to do: Just for today I'll eat what I packed for lunch, and nothing else. Just for today I'll say no to the homemade apple cake in the break room, I'll drink plenty of water, I'll choose to eat for health rather than comfort.
But grrrrrrr. It feels hard this week.
I think I've got hormones working against me as well. I caught myself today thinking morosely that my supervisors don't really like me, my coworkers just tolerate me, my friends are growing weary of me, etc. This is usually a sign that I'm PMS'ing, as I'm not usually so prone to such thoughts. It used to be that my period came and went like clockwork, so I had some warning and could sort of predict when I'd be in a crappy, self-pitying mood. Since entering my 40's, though, things have gotten really irregular on the monthy cycle front, and it's anybody's guess as to when the hormonal tide will turn. The zits, the crankiness, the cravings...well, I'd say the tide it is a-turning just about now.
That's all for now, I guess. This feels hard, but I'm still doing it. I've managed to stay on-plan all week thus far, and the toughest of it is over. I've managed to negotiate the situations that challenged me, and now I just have to manage ME.
1 comment:
Definitely sounds like you're feeling a bit hormonal right now. Hopefully once you get past the next few days or so things will get easier for you.
I just bought a little book called Fit From Within by Victoria Moran and I've already found a quote that I'm taping to my refridgerator:
I don't have to do anything forever, I just have to do it for today.
Today is doable. I can manage to hold on to my plan for a day. And if it really doesn't feel like it's right or working, then tomorrow I can make a new plan. That's what I'm trying to work at now. Just taking care of today and letting tomorrow take care of itself.
Meegan, www.livejournal.com/ahappywife
P.S. My own struggle has gone along alright this week. I feel like my body is settling down and accepting the changes I've made regarding my food choices. I'm feeling so much better in general. I think things will settle down for you too, once your body gets a new routine going.
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