Sunday, February 24, 2008

Seasonal Slump

It's been a chaotic few months, and something about the waning of winter is encouraging me to pull myself together and get things in order a bit.

I don't feel like I suffer from seasonal affective disorder, exactly, but I do feel like there's a part of me that just doesn't cope well with the dark and cold of winter. All I want to do is eat and sleep, and I find that I'm draggy and tired all the time. This is probably pretty par for the course around here, as our winters (and this one in particular) take a lot of fortitude to endure. But I don't make it easier on myself; when I'm low in energy and/or mood I tend to indulge myself with lots of tasty carbohydrates, which just make me more draggy and tired.

Last weekend I decided to cook. I made a pork loin marinated in citrus juice, garlic, cumin and oregano, and it was really nice. I also made an egg casserole kind of a thing that was good but very, very rich. I've been taking these things for lunch all week, and lo and behold...I'm feeling a little better. A little more in control. And thank goodness.

I was sitting with a cup of tea this morning and thinking about what I really want for myself. I realized that it's more complicated than just lookin' hot and feelin' groovy. That's a part of it, sure, but it's also about feeling calm and in control, and about respecting myself. And about having a body that's functional, so I don't have to worry about being able to go on a hike or climb several flights of stairs, or...well, you get the idea.

So often I just feel like a cork bobbing on the open sea, with very little to say about what happens to me, food-wise. I totally lose sight of the fact that I have a choice about what I eat, and not to choose is still a choice. It all just feels so thoughtless and automatic. I go to the cafeteria at work, and I pick what to eat based on where the shortest line is. Oh, and I get something for dessert, because the Little Debbie rack is right by the cashier, and I like those, and why not? And I drift through the grocery store, just impulse shopping.

So I think the trick for me will be to live a little more intentionally. I'm headed over to the grocery in a bit, and I'll go with a list. Winter's over yet, but it feels good to be thinking these thoughts and planning for the sunshine and warmer weather.

5 comments:

Squilla said...

You know, when I was in the UK I am sure I got a little bit seasonally affected. It's hard to really say, but I definitely felt like sleeping all the time and quite often just wanted to be left alone. And bakery goods were my friend. What made it worse was that, for me, the winter just never seemed to end. I guess originally being from Australia I was used to a short mild winter that only lasted a month or two.

Anyway, I do think SAD is a real thing and that most people get it to some small degree. Or maybe it is cabin fever. Both?

The cure us most definitely pro-activity. And for finding the strength to take the reins while it is still so cold and dark and carbohydrate-inviting, I salute you! Go Luna! :D XXXXX

A Happy Wife said...

My Mom has always been very down and lethargic during the winter months and I've known other people have trouble with seasonal affective disorder. I tend to go into hibernation mode myself during the darkest days of winter (luckily now that I'm in California it's not really a problem). I agree that it's probably best to be pro active about it, particularly regarding food. What is that saying? 'If you fail to plan then you are planning to fail'. That's always been true for me. I tend to take the path of least resistance (or least effort :) ). So if I have to choose between opening a bag of chips or cooking when I'm feeling tired or down you can bet I'll choose the chips.

For lovely health reasons my diet has become severely limited so by default I'm having to make healthier choices. No meat, no cheese, everything extremely low fat and low cholesterol. Ugh! I get rebellious and whine about it but so far I've been good at sticking to the diet. It's either eat right or deal with horrible stomache pains, oh the joys of gallstones!

Anyway, it's great to hear from you!

By the way, I'm moving to a new journal at http://flamingogirl.com/blog in case you want to update your links list. I will keep my old journal at A Happy wife open for awhile longer but will eventually be blogging full time at my own site. Livejournal was just a pain sometimes! Hope you will still visit me at my new blog!I'll be putting up alot of photos and art as well as blogging about life and dieting. I'd like to keep in touch :)

-Meegan (aka A happy wife, aka FlamingoGirl lol)

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