Sunday, September 9, 2007

Helloooooooo!

So, I’m back. I’m not sure what this extended absence was about, exactly…other than just feeling distracted and focused on other things in my life. It’s funny, though—while I didn’t feel like keeping up with my own blog, I was still motivated to keep up with all of you whose blogs I read regularly. I continued to stop by and read what was going on for you, though I didn’t comment much. I guess I needed a little vacation from writing.

I missed you all while I wasn’t writing. It makes me realize that I have a nice little group of friends here in the world of self-improvement blogging, and that my own active involvement helps me stay connected to people I’ve really come to like and feel close to (you all know who you are *smile and wave*).

So what have I been up to? Getting used to my new job, mostly. I’m very lucky to be working exactly where I wanted to be, though the position itself is not what I would’ve designed for myself. It makes me realized that I had gotten very comfortable with the types of people I used to see for psychotherapy, and those folks exercised skills in me that were already strong. This new group? Wow. It’s a whole different ballgame, and I’m working muscles that haven’t gotten much of a workout before. These are younger guys, mostly, and all newly returned from combat in Iraq. They’re not sure that they want therapy, or what it might do for them, and they’re still pretty sure they’re going to be able to cope on their own. Yet many of them are pretty miserable, and things in their lives aren’t going well. The guys I used to work with, in the residential rehab facility? They were pretty sure that they weren’t managing on their own all that well, and they were mostly willing to accept help. So, it’s new, and it’s weird, and it’s got me in that place of discomfort we all feel before we start to grow and stretch and ultimately become better at what we do.

I see that I’ve been using lots of physical metaphors here. That makes sense, I guess, because the other new horizon I’ve continued to explore has been getting fit. I think one of my last entries here was about joining a gym, and much to my own surprise, I’ve continued to go on a pretty regular basis. I’ve been managing to get there 3-4 times per week, and I’m starting to miss it on days that I don’t go. I’ve gotten into a routine that makes me puff and sweat some but is also kind of meditative somehow, and I like it. I’ve been using this elliptical-like machine, and I’ve been increasing both resistance and length of time I’m on it…I’m so ridiculously out of shape in terms of cardiopulmonary stamina that it’s taken me a while to be able to work hard enough to make my muscles burn, but I’m finally getting there. I do a half hour on the elliptical, and then I go walk a mile on the treadmill to cool down, which usually takes me about 20 mins. I’m still way, way too shy to hire a personal trainer; one of them just sort of randomly made eye contact with me yesterday, and I about ran and hid. Well, one day…when I’m feeling braver. I need some help with beginning a weight training program, so when I’m ready for that I’ll have to hire an expert.

Interestingly, in all of this, my eating has become completely out of my control once again. I’ve hardly tried to rein it in, but it’s getting to be time. I’ve got a comforting little exercise routine, and while my job continues to be stressful, eating everything that I can get my hands on doesn’t actually help. You’d think, after all these years, I would not have to prove that to myself again and again. But some lessons seem to take a while to sink in.

So, there you have it. Thank you all for allowing me to stay connected to your lives, and welcome back to mine.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad you're back! *hugs*
I was afraid that you might have disappeared permanently. I love hearing about you and your world and I'd have missed you.

I'm thrilled for your success at creating a gym routine. You're inspiring me to get to work on creating an exercise routine myself. Even if I'm not ready yet to stick with a consistently healthy diet there really isn't any excuse for not exercising. I need to be more active even more than I need to lose weight.

Unknown said...

Hey, I'm glad you are back. And thank you for leaving the comment at my blog. I'll be interested in hearing from you about the new body image/plastic surgery post.

As for the vets, it's a long row to hoe. Most of the guys need to talk and I'm betting that putting yourself out there as a good ear will be a great way to start with some of the guys who don't think that they are walking around with a big pack. I was just thinking today that someone in my family has fought in every major - and most minor - war since before the Revolution. My great-uncle spent the last days of his 92 years being shot at in the Battle of the Bulge all over again. My mother's partner was stalked by the Viet Cong in his sleep until he died this spring. Your job is very, very important and I hope you'll be able to network with others who are effective and creative in reaching working with this really critical population. It's an especial challenge to be taken seriously if you've never seen combat.

Good to hear about the gym and sorry that the eating keeps triggering something. Care to share some eating with me? I'd love to divide my eating indifference, if I could get in more protein.

Squilla said...

I am so glad you are back too. I missed you! It doesn't matter if you are away for a bit at any time, though. Blogging should never become a chore. :D

Congratulations on keeping up the excercise! That is fantastic! My gym membership has now run out and I won't be renewing it seeing as I am about to leave the country - but you, as always, are an inspiration. All this extra moving about will counteract any extras that might be going in - so you are still on the good path.

Meanwhile, I have to report that both my old blogs are currently dead. The host of Old Dog New Tricks has been murdered by a phisher and so I have started it again here at blogspot. That being the case, I was a big chicken and took down Inside Out (just for now) because I didn't want anyone from that old blog community to find it. I know that is lame but I hope everyone understands. :D

Keep us posted when you can

- Squilla

Erin said...

You're back! It's so good to read your stuff again. I'm excited to hear more about your new job, even though I know it's a challenge for you. I really like that you're looking at it as a way to develop your talents in a different direction, rather than just an obstacle in your career.

As for the personal trainers in the gym, they're there specifically for people who want to run and hide. I had two mandatory physical training sessions when I joined a gym in the last town where I lived, and I'm SO glad I did. I thought the woman would make fun of me and set a bunch of unrealistic goals, but she was completely kind and was actually the one to tell me to slow down a little so I wouldn't burn out.

A lot of gyms keep a portfolio of each of the trainers' personalities and their specialities, so it might be worth it to check it out and see if there's someone you could potentially click with.

Regardless, I'm so impressed you've started with a gym. You'll have lots to write about in the near future!

Unknown said...

Hey there again! Oddly enough, shortly after posting this, I did sit next to a substance/PTS counselor for the VA Hospital in MPLS. Very nice fellow. Write for more info!

*S*

Unknown said...

Hey there again! Oddly enough, shortly after posting this, I did sit next to a substance/PTS counselor for the VA Hospital in MPLS. Very nice fellow. Write for more info!

*S*