Starting weight: 240
Current weight: 232
Change this week: -1
Total change: -8
The conference was interesting, I guess…I work for a governmental agency, and this was the first national mental health conference I’d ever been to. Lots of talking about big new programs and things getting rolled out across the country, but it all just seemed so heavy on words and light on action.
There were a few people from my particular hospital there, but I traveled and stayed with a friend and fellow post-doc. We were together the whole time, and we did lots of exploring and shopping during our off hours. She is much younger than I am, and tiny, and GORGEOUS. We wandered in to one little boutique during our wandering, and she tried on a dress that was just impossibly lovely. She glowed like the moon in it—it set off her hair, her big blue-green eyes and her skin tone in a way that was just amazing. I was so, so jealous. She was debating about buying it, and I told her that if I looked that good in anything, I’d pay whatever it cost to have it. And I wasn’t kidding.
I thought a lot about appearance this week. Being in a room with 600 mental health people, you realize that we’re not generally the most gorgeous group of folks around. I was remembering feeling nervous about starting graduate school, and I had nerves about everything from not being smart enough to not being cute enough. I confessed this last fear to my then-therapist, who started to laugh and said “Have you ever been in a room full of psychologists??” So, yeah, the bar is not that high.
But something about my new job is making me feel like I have to get it together a little, appearance-wise. My organization is generally not especially formal, but the psychologists do dress up a little more than others. I’m having that old feeling of not being polished enough, or cute enough…and I so wish that I could find an outfit that makes me jaw-droppingly, glowingly gorgeous like my friend did. I wish to just be that gorgeous, outfit or no.
I mean, realistically, I’m OK. I do a fine job at work, and my size/appearance is no barrier to doing the work that I do. I’m aware of this. I’m just wistful, I guess, about wanting to be the pretty girl I really never have been. Having a new job, and one that’s a little higher-profile than your average therapist gig, heightens those feelings for me.
While I'm thinking about it, let me say thank you to you guys who left sweet messages of congratulations for me. I'm so happy about landing a job that allows me to stay where I am, and I was excited to let you all know. Thanks for sharing it with me!
4 comments:
Two words: Eileen Fisher. You can't go wrong with her styles and you can do both formal and casual with the same pieces. I've been wearing her black merino wool stuff for years and always get compliments, which is saying something at near 400lbs. Don't worry - they come in sizes small enough to fit a petiter person like you as well.
Classic can be boring if it's done wrong but French women have been carrying it off for years with great panache.
Give yourself permission and hie your butt to Nordstrom Rack first and see what's there and check out EF's website. Let me know if you need
further ideas/help.
Great suggestion, *S*! I've been a fan of Eileen Fisher for years but have been too poor to afford any of her stuff...but now that I'm actually making a little money, maybe it's time to rediscover her. I think her shapes work really well on tallish women, which I am.
I'd love to hear who else you like...
Boy, that's a tough one, as it's been a while since I bought career wear, except for a couple of EF pieces on sale (<$25) in Feb. BTW, regular Nordstroms has a sale on EF's black merino dress, which is a great shape for tall women.
I liked Target's Linden Hill line, since discontinued, I believe, which was heavy on linen (which is my summer "go-to" fabric). I love some of Stephanie Schuster's knits and have a great putty grey suit of hers that needs a new home. I'm not so big on her new stuff, so I get - or have gotten - some of her older pieces from EBay.
Boy, that's a tough one, as it's been a while since I bought career wear, except for a couple of EF pieces on sale (<$25) in Feb. BTW, regular Nordstroms has a sale on EF's black merino dress, which is a great shape for tall women.
I liked Target's Linden Hill line, since discontinued, I believe, which was heavy on linen (which is my summer "go-to" fabric). I love some of Stephanie Schuster's knits and have a great putty grey suit of hers that needs a new home. I'm not so big on her new stuff, so I get - or have gotten - some of her older pieces from EBay.
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