Starting weight: 240
Current weight: 229.5
Change this week: -6
Total change: -10.5
OK, damage from week before last corrected, and now I’m feeling more like I’m back on course. I didn’t have the greatest week, from the perspective of pre-planning meals, but I guess it was good enough. I find that I go through periods of time where I just can’t get my act together to cook enough of something to give me lunches for the week, or I don’t seem to have the mental resources to figure out how to navigate food at a party so that I eat healthily. I struggled with both of those things this week. I started out last Sunday with a head of broccoli to steam and a bunch of chicken breasts to season and cook up. That would’ve set me up for the week. But instead I let the broccoli get all soft and icky in my fridge, and the chicken sat there alongside it, getting more and more suspect-looking and giving me the stinkeye every time I opened the door. Then there was a potluck party Friday evening with some co-workers, and I didn’t do very well there. I totally caved in to the pressure to try someone’s baked beans, and someone else’s root beer cake (sounds completely foul, tasted OK)…Sigh. Social events are going to be an ongoing challenge for me.
However, all that being the case, I still managed to eat according to plan for most of the week, and I’m happy to have erased my six lb gain. I’m now at a place where I’ve been many times before, where I’ve lost 10 lbs, I’m feeling hopeful, and then somehow it all falls apart. Some things are different this time, though. First of all, I’m living by myself now, which I was not the last couple of times I tried to diet. I used to live with my boyfriend, who had a couple of adolescent sons, and the house was an obstacle course of frozen pizzas, cookies, ice cream and chips (of course, the three of them were all naturally thin—bastards). I was never strong enough to sustain a particular way of eating for very long.
Secondly, I’m under less stress. The last few years have been fairly crazy, what with finishing grad school, doing a more-than-full-time internship, breaking up with aforementioned boyfriend and re-learning how to be a single person…I coped, I got through it all and came out the other end with my sense of humor and love of my career still intact, but I did lose my focus on my physical well-being in there somewhere. Now my life is calmer in many ways, and I am finding that I have a little bit of surplus energy that can go toward self-care and the establishment of some healthier, happier habits.
Finally, I’m blogging. This has been exactly what I had hoped it would be—a way to connect with other like-minded people who have similar struggles and often better answers that I’ve been able to come up with on my own. I feel supported, understood and inspired by you wonderful folks—both those of you who stop by here to visit and comment, and those of you who share your lives and thoughts in your own blogs that I read.
The journey is long, but thanks to you all, it’s not lonely.
6 comments:
Isn't it funny how difficult it is to watch what you eat when guys live in your house?
Before moving to the UK I lived alone and had no real trouble with my weight (yeah yeah, I always wished I was the magic 3kg slimmer, but I had pretty much come to terms with it and was happy enough).
Now I live with my boyfriend and, although we eat fairly healthily, any idea of portion control has gone out the window and meat is with every meal. Beer also factors highly and I am 10kg heavier as a result. On a 5'2" frame this is not nice. (Hence my visits for inspirtation [not to mention the great writing and the growing feeling that are indeed a kindred spirit].
I love this entry. I love the feeling of excitement that you are embarking on something new at so many levels. You truly rock, my friend. XXX
PS: Just for the record, I am not blaming the man for my poor eating. I am blaming my own lack of willpower when the post night out 'fat bastard' breakfasts are a-cooking in the kitchen. God its hard to get strong sometimes. :D
PPS: ...and, of course, he's 6'4" and built like a whippet. The bastard. Grrrr... :D
OK. Really going now. *wink* XXX :D
Congrats on the 6 lbs. I always figure that water weight/etc. is good for 5-6.
As for the parties, it is a cliché, but if you can eat prior to the event. That way you will eat only what you want to try, not to fill up.
*S*
Thanks, Squilla and *S*--your visits and comments have really helped me stay focused and motivated (and to keep trying when I loooooose my motivation temporarily). It IS hard to stay strong, but I've got some good allies in the fight.
Group hug!
Yay! Well done. I hope I'm able to bounce back from my ultra bad weekend the way you bounced back from yours. You're motivating me!
I too seem to have the worst trouble with my weight when I'm living with a guy. My first serious weight gain came while living with my first love and now I'm trying to recover from the 80+ pounds I've gained since marrying my husband. I need to figure out why I tend to eat so much more when I'm living with a man. Some of it simply comes from matching their eating habits. Men can just eat so much more than we can, and get away with it. So when I eat similar portions to what my hubby eats, obviously I'm gonna gain weight. But I think there is probably something deeper going on as well. I think that I tend to sabotage myself. I look for a way to screw things up or make myself miserable. Since the relationship part is going okay, then I have to find another area to mess up. I tend to go with my weight. Maybe it's about fear and insecurity as well. Gotta work on figuring this out.
I completely agree with you on how important, and wonderful, blogging has been in this process. It truly helps to get comments from you and the others who sometimes stop by my blog. It keeps me on track and lets me feel supported in a way I never have when dieting alone.
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