Starting weight: 240
Current weight: 235.5
Change this week: +6
Total change: -4.5
Six pounds. Six pounds gained over the course of four days of unprincipled eating. My body amazes me sometimes. I choose to believe that it’s mostly water weight, so just go with me on that one, OK? A girl needs her denial sometimes.
Here’s the good news, though. My goal, if you’ll remember, was to eat calmly. I didn’t define that concept very well when I wrote about it, but what I meant was that I was not going to allow my emotions to define what or how much I ate. In that, I was successful. I did eat a lot, and I ate plenty of things that were off plan, and I drank quite a bit of alcohol and I didn’t drink enough water. However, I never ate to the point of being stuffed, and I never did what I was afraid I was going to do, which was to leave my father at the hotel and drive by McDonald’s and/or Taco Bell and/or wherever else to comfort myself. This in and of itself feels great.
Lest I get too sunny here, I also need to say that I’m kind of afraid. In the past, I’ve lost the same 10 lbs a bunch of times, and I’m scared that I can no longer get beyond that 10 lb mark for some reason. I’m trying to be rational and remind myself that I did this once before, and I had the same fears then. But I was able to do it. The fear remains, however, and it’s something I need to grapple with and get beyond.
Sigh. This is a topic for a longer post, and I have many things to do this evening. For now, I’m back on the wagon, doing my best John Wayne imitation and fixin’ to get tough on this eatin’ thang (thanks, Squilla, for that whole John Wayne image! I’m working on my low-carb swagger. Maybe I need some chaps).
6 comments:
The main thing is, you survived Daddy-OH! with your sanity more or less intact and you didn't go drown your sorrows with McFood. This should count for something.
You'll get beyond ten pounds. You've got the tools and the determination. Now cut out the alcohol, lay in some water that will make you feel like you're treating yourself and stock up on some decent nosh - which should be heavy on the vegetables and whole grains. Take a look at the Moroccan Carrot Cilantro Couscous Salad over at ablevayble.blogspot.com .
This is definitely doable.
*S*
I find your use of two words - interesting! You write of 'unprincipled' eating and eating 'calmly'. I sense you are meaning unplanned and uncontrolled eating and planned and controlled eating, but for some reason, you seek to put them in such vague terms. Is it that for right now the committment is vague too??
Glad that you are back on the wagon and for you I hope there is a strong committment to stay there.
Thanks for the comment! For me, the words 'unprincipled' and 'calmly' speak more to the underlying emotion that goes with eating in a planned/unplanned or controlled /uncontrolled way. I've found that I need to focus on the emotional state that accompanies a particular kind of eating, as do lots of people, I'd imagine. I can certainly see how they seem vague to anyone who's not in my head, however. :)
*S*--thanks for the pep talk! I did indeed survive, and I can feel myself settling back down into a rhythm again. That recipe you mentioned looks woooonderful...and thanks for reminding me of the importance of having some decadent stuff (even if it's just good drinks!) around.
I have absolutely no doubt that you will not only get beyond the 'tenacious ten', but that you will get to your target, Luna. Patience and persistance are key. Bodies do funny things don't they? :D
Congratulations on surviving the parental visit. *gold star* :D XXX
I would bet that at least a little of your weight gain is water weight, especially if you've had a lot of alcohol or salty foods. Both can really make you retain water. I think that if you stear clear from salt, alcohol, and soft drinks for a few days it would make a tremendous difference. I've read a lot of dieting books and success stories where people said one of the keys to their weight loss was to give up alcohol completely because it causes water retention, is full of useless calories, and triggers them eating bad foods in general. Just a thought.
Now,all that aside, YAY for you!! You survived your father's visit without a serious melt down and you didn't go on a massive binge to all the local fast food places. That's something to celebrate. Lets start a happy dance!:)
As for the fear of losing 10 pounds and putting it right back on, I have the same fears. In the back of my mind there is a little voice whispering "This isn't a real change. YOu'll stop any minute and put all the weight you lost right back on. Tomorrow you'll wake up and weigh and realize it was all a joke." I keep thinking my body is planning a sneak attack on me and that next time I weigh I'll see I haven't really lost anything. I think the key here is to keep pushing right on through that fear. As long as we keep trying, the fear and negative thoughts can't win.
You'll make it!
-Meegan http://www.livejournal.com/ahappywife
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